As all meteorologists know and as we who had been paying attention to Isabel have been reminded, in the eye of a hurricane, everything is sunny, calm and bright. Those observing the storm from the outside, however, see the wind, rain and the looming destruction.
Have we Californians turned a blind eye to our state’s craziness so long that when a fiasco like the up-coming (?) gubernatorial recall twists into our midst we just shrug our shoulders and say “whatever?”
I had found myself doing that and I’ve had to shake myself awake.
Though I’m a Republican, I had decided that the recall wasn’t such a good idea. Too much feces would hit the fan, I thought. Call it a hunch. And as it turns out, it was an accurate one.
The turns of events in this out-of-control train, called a recall, has all the makings of an oft-rejected Hollywood script, appropriately enough. Consider its main cast of characters. These folks and their antics are enough to make the rest of the nation secede from the Golden State.
Dramatis Personae
• The leftist incompetent governor, who, in response to being recalled, puts the entire country at risk by
allowing illegal aliens to obtain driver’s licenses
• The inexperienced RINO candidate/world-renowned actor married into the most famous Democrat family
in American history
• The true Republican/chronic also-ran
• To the left of governor, the lieutenant governor, possibly with questionable racial attitudes
• And, in a special guest starring role, the Ninth US Circuit Court of Appeals
As is appropriate to a second-rate drama, this one has improbable plot twists.
• The Lt. Governor reportedly hates the Governor and the feeling is mutual.
• The RINO, a naturalized American citizen, may have committed some visa violations before obtaining his citizenship.
• The Ninth Court (three-judge panel), postpones the recall vote, likely disenfranchising 40,000 voters*
who have already sent in their absentee ballots (shades of Florida 2000).** The panel claims that the
long-used punch card ballots, located mainly in majority black and latino communities, are suddenly too
difficult to use. Overheard in the Ninth’s chambers: “dang dem darkies is dumb!”
Even Showtime and HBO wouldn’t touch such a poorly crafted piece of work.
So what might this C movie's title be?
Bananas Republic?
Altered State?
Scent of a Cluster-F***?
No, wait. I have the perfect title for this straight-to-video waste of celluloid.
California Reamin’
UPDATE: Another even better title: Ninth Circuit of Hell
*Er, 400,000 voters; now close to 615,000, according to the Washington Post.
** Today, the Ninth’s eleven-judge panel voted to review the three-judge panel’s decision to postpone the recall.
