Open Letter to Monica Lewinsky

Dear Ms. Lewinsky:

As a woman who is ten years older than you, I will be presumptuous enough to give you a little advice. Any of these suggestions are optional but the last one.

1) Go to graduate school. Become a nurse, or a scientist, or an architect. Do NOT become a lawyer, a journalist or a politician. Do NOT go into show business, unless you’re going to be a producer or part of the crew.
2) Immerse yourself in your Jewish heritage/religion. Or some other religion.
3) Get involved in some little-publicized charity work.
4) Stay out of the public eye as much as possible. Change your name, if you see fit. But whatever happens, refuse to give any interviews on anything regarding former President Clinton and the scandal created by the two of you.

Why should you do these things? By immersing yourself in taking care of, building or studying something for you, you can carve out a new reputation for yourself, instead of being constantly saddled with the old one. Accomplish something. Make a difference, a positive one. Why should you do it out of the glare of the public eye? Your name and your face are imprinted on the American public, possibly the world. It will be some time before you can be taken seriously, but it will happen faster if you become a private person.

If you don’t take this advice, your life will become more lonely and painful than it likely already is. I assume that you would like to get married and have children someday. What good man will want to marry a woman, when he is constantly reminded that she has been used most infamously as a human ashtray?

As it is, it will still take a special guy to love you, even if you do take my advice or follow your own path toward the same end, advice number four. However, I do believe in the power of redemption. Undoubtedly, there’s a guy out there for you who does as well. All you have to do is step out of the harsh spotlight and onto the redemptive path.

Let the former president have his say. What should you say? “No comment.”

I hope you take this letter in the spirit in which it is meant.

All the Best to You,

J. Ochieng

Comments

[Francis W. Porretto]

Juliette, you are truly one of a kind. God bless you.

[Ernie G]

What Francis Porretto said.

What you wrote is pretty much what I would have said if she were my own daughter, if I had your wisdom. You have told her, in one page, how to engineer one of the greatest comebacks in history. The only catch is that it would have to be done off the radar. There are hundreds of millions of us who live that way now, and life out here is pretty good.

But she has heard the Siren's song. The question is, can she resist it or will she be lured onto the rocks again?

[baldilocks]

Thanks, guys. I guess there are a few untapped parental instincts that this thing brought out.

Poor Monica certainly was not blessed in the parental area, if reports are correct. Not even her father will defend her honor.

[Asher Abrams]

Juliette,

I've heard so many remarks, jokes, innuendos etc. about Monica Lewinsky that it is truly a breath of fresh air to hear someone address her seriously, as one human being to another. Your piece is splendid.

[Meep]

You are certainly being kinder to her than my own thoughts suggested when this stuff first came out. But then, I'm her age, and I didn't look kindly upon what an idiot she was making young women look like.

One thing that may save her is the increasing irrelevance of the Clintons. As long as Hillary doesn't run for national office, the press won't have much reason to dig up Monica for quotes.

[The Commissar]

excellent

[Acidman]

That's great advice, but I believe that you're giving it to the wrong person. Monica can weep alligator tears with the best of them, but I believe she enjoys the spotlight and intends to cash in on it if she can.

Face it, Juliette. Bill Clinton was a predator, but so was Monica.

[Bart]

Monica Lewinski is the Tanya Harding of politics. She will never change.

Trailer trash will always be trailer trash.

[sharona]

I must agree with acidman. I believe that there is a part of Monica Lewinsky that would like to wipe the slate clean and reclaim some sense of what she might of been had her life and that of Bill Clinton's never intersected. However, nothing she has ever done would indicate that this desire for a quieter life supercedes her monumental desire for fame. She may talk about wishing that Bill Clinton had never been a part of her life, but each and every time she has had the opportunity to quietly reinvent her life she has chosen instead to speak out, to put herself in the public realm. As Warren Beatty said to Madonna in her dockumentary "Truth or Dare", Monica cannot live her life "without the cameras rolling" (I'm paraphrasing). It's not the affair she regrets, nor Clinton's maligning her reputation yet again. It's that the outcome isn't what she would have liked.

A sensible person would take heed of your generous advice, as it is unselfishly given and completely reasonable. Monica, I'm afriad, is unlikely to take it.

[baldilocks]

Folks: I would if Ms. Lewinsky is getting this kind of advice. I bet her parents aren't giving it to her, nor are the people she surrounds herself with (if any).

It had to be tried.

[Leah Guildenstern]

Juliette,
I think the letter is great. I think that everyone has the ability to redeem themselves, and can use good advice. Sure the attention and the publicity are appealing. Hey cheap and easy feeling of power, she doesn't have to do anything to get it. But after the interviews I bet she feels hollow and empty, and doesn't even know why, or how to change it.

Even if she is manipulating, she still is a person with potential, and still has the ability to change.

[Patterico]

What do you have against lawyers?

[Eiki Martinson]

I greatly enjoyed this letter - you have exactly articulated what she needs to do with her life.

Sadly, she will NEVER do it. Even sadder, there seem to be very few women who would. In my experience, the great majority of women are not thinking about how to build a life for themselves, but rather about how to snag a guy that will magically bestow that life on them; they are only willing to invest in the easy way to success.

Monica Lewinsky hit on just this royal road to fame and riches - she can milk the book tour / girlie pics / talk show circuit for decades, probably, and at no cost other than living as a national punch-line for the rest of her life. What saddens me is that I can't even imagine a woman who would turn from this kind of life out of sheer pained dignity and a sincere desire to do something serious with herself. I dearly hope that such exist.

[baldilocks]

Donna Rice Hughes did it.

[David Blue]

"Poor Monica certainly was not blessed in the parental area, if reports are correct. Not even her father will defend her honor."

I think this is the point. Bill Clinton was old enough to be her father.

She just can't accept that while to her this may have been mutual seduction, to Bill she was the equivalent of a disposable tissue, plus the fun of getting away with stuff. And he went out of his way again to define her as such.

Besides Monica's pathologies, there are certain people, like 'ol Bill, who are such utter users that the only way to have a sane life is to unhook totally from them and any part of your life that you were unlucky enough or stupid or wrong-headed enough to share with them. And stick to that.

Start clean, as Baldilocks so wisely and kindly said.

[denise]

I agree that Juliette's advice is sage and well-written.

I can understand Monica's delusions, though. No one wants to be used, to be thought of as a human ashtray, or to think of herself as someone who could have been so thoroughly duped by a man. So she continues to insist, even to herself, that this was a real relationship, and that Bill denies this only out of cowardice.

Patterico -- I'm not sure Juliette's indicated anything against lawyers, just that it's not a good choice for Ms. Lewinsky, and I have to agree. A public policy related career (law, politics or journalism) is a bad idea for her. It would be better to go into a field that is in no way related to the sphere in which she gained her notoriety. Also, the law requires an analytical mind and an ability to evaluate a situation (even an emotion-filled situation such as sexual harrassment or child custody) objectively. These do not seem to be in her skill set.