UPDATE (June 25, 2009): Folks,this post is four years old, but it's unsettling to think that this future was appointed. RIP, Michael.
ORIGINAL POST (March 16, 2005): Finally, the pieces of a twenty-year-old puzzle fall into place.
During a search for evidence at the Neverland Valley Ranch, investigators discovered a corpse that has been identified as that of Michael Jackson, Santa Barbara police officials announced Tuesday.'What' is the proper word.
Neverland Ranch Investigators Discover Corpse Of Real Michael Jackson
"Coroners have officially pronounced Michael Jackson dead. From what we can tell, he died between 18 and 20 years ago," forensic investigator Tim Holbrooke said. "We are not certain, at this time, who—or what—has been standing trial in that Santa Maria courthouse."
Well, it would make more sense than real life does.
(Frighteningly manniquin-like photo lifted from Solomon)