Notice: I *can* be petty. But unfortunately fortunately blessedly, I’m always under the conviction of you-know-Who.
Driving in LA is always an adventure and I had one of those just moments ago. One of the banes of driving here is that there is always someone who is in such a hurry that he/she feels the need to endanger others and I was subject to one of those types of drivers tonight. As often happens in these cases, I ended up passing him. But I couldn’t let it go at that. Here are my words as I passed him: “I still made it past you, Dipsh*t!”
The driver heard me and started to follow me. He pulled up beside me and began detailing a list of my perceived faults.
“You’re bald.” Geez, you think? “You’re ugly, but most of all, you’re stupid. There’s nothing that’s a worse problem than stupid black people.” (He was black, too.) Granted, calling him a “dipsh*t” within earshot was stupid, but I’m quite secure in my intellect, thanks, and I let him know that. He then wanted an inventory: where I went to school, etc. (I have veteran plates and a USAF banner in the back window.) He noted that he was driving a Lexus and that I was driving a Kia, took that to show that he was more successful than I and pulled off. I then followed him and took a photo of his plate to share with you, my good readers. Then he felt the need to start the conversation again, wanting to know why I took the photo.
“To post on my blog, of course.”
“Well, I’m going to take a photo, too,” he said, “And I will post it on my blog and entitle it as such: a stupid, ugly, bald black woman.” I smiled for the camera. (I tried to give him my name—spelled, of course—and my URL, but he had his ear buds in by then.)
It’s amazing the insults that people will throw at you when they perceive that those insults are your insecurities. Bald? Well, duh! And I had a haircut yesterday. (I’ll refrain from inferring any stupidity from that observant declaration.) And any short-haired, nappy-haired, dark-skinned black woman who hasn’t been called ugly at least a gazillion times in her life needs to get out of the house more often. And, while I have been in some straits in recent history, I’m also quite secure in my achievements in life. I’ve never been tried not to be the type to lord my blessings over others and I like my (new) job. (And my car is paid for.)
However, I know that I shouldn't have called the man a ‘dipsh*t.'
Man driving a light-cream colored Lexus with California license plates 5MXV639, I’m sorry that I called you a dipsh*t. Can we be friends? No, I don’t want a date; you’re not my type (and I’m obviously not yours), but one can never have too many friends nor too few enemies. You should drive more carefully and considerately, however. <--couldn't help it
By the way, in spite of his CIA aspersions cast upon Pajamas Media (my employer), I certainly hope that Tony Pierce wasn’t Mr. Lexus.
(Thanks to Marc Danziger, one of the classiest guys in the blogosphere)
AFTERTHOUGHT: If there are any LAPD/CHP/LA County Sheriff types reading this, don't hassle the guy; I started it (sort of). If you must stop him, give him my URL and point him to my apology (using his plate number).
UPDATE: Tony say that it "wasn't me." Another blessing. Additionally he notes that he never actually said that Pajamas Media was funded by the CIA. Noted and logged.
