Osama Speaks (UPDATED: Transcript)

From the Blotter's Brian Ross:

Intelligence sources tell ABC News they believe the video message from Osama bin Laden is authentic, recently produced and evidence the al Qaeda leader is still alive.

As most can guess, the video is scheduled to be a prelude to the sixth anniversary of 9/11, which again falls on a Tuesday.

According to government sources, an initial analysis of the tape indicates "a lot of chest thumping" and of course historical references "alluding" to the successful attack on New York.

Lots of "Hair Club for Jihadis" jokes are being made about the following two photos.If, as it appears, Osama is wearing a fake beard for his latest close-up, Richard Clarke--of all people--has some interesting speculation regarding such a tactic.

The "phony beard" may be an important clue as to where bin Laden is hiding, according to Clarke.

"One place where a beard would stand out would be southeast Asia, the Philippines, Indonesia," Clarke told ABC News. "No one's thought he was there, but that is an environment where most men, Muslim men don't have beards."

If that 2007 photo really is Osama, he looks like shizam regardless of the "upgrade." Being on the run tends to have that effect.

I can't wait to hear what ObL has in store for us this time.

UPDATE: More details:

The video includes references to current events in the U.S. involvement in the war in Iraq, the official said. That would bolster the video's authenticity, which intelligence officials still are trying to confirm.

The new video of al-Qaida leader bin Laden — his first in three years — runs nearly 30 minutes long, said the government official who has seen a transcript of its contents and spoke on condition of anonymity because it has not been made public.

Bin Laden makes "no overt threat" in the video, the official said.

UPDATE: Partial transcript here.

"People of America: the world is following your news in regards to your invasion of Iraq, for people have recently come to know that, after several years of tragedies of this war, the vast majority of you want it stopped. Thus, you elected the Democratic Party for this purpose, but the Democrats haven't made a move worth mentioning. On the contrary, they continue to agree to the spending of tens of billions to continue the killing and war there."

(Emphasis mine.)

No comment. Too busy laughing.

The transcript indicates that bin Laden refers to a statement from a U.S. soldier in Iraq, from an interview taped by a British journalist. Quotes from the interview aired in a July report on ABC News.

"It would benefit you to listen to the poignant messages of your soldiers in Iraq, who are paying -- with their blood, nerves and scattered limbs -- the price for these sorts of irresponsible statements,” the transcript says.

One of Osama's suggested methods of ending the Iraq War:

...do away with the American democratic system of government. "It has now become clear to you and the entire world the impotence of the democratic system and how it plays with the interests of the peoples and their blood by sacrificing soldiers and populations to achieve the interests of the major corporations."

How little he understands us. But if he did, he wouldn't be on his Jihad in the first place.

UPDATE: Full transcript (PDF). (via Hot Air)

No wonder Osama loves Noam Chomsky so much. Noam wrote his script.
Tee hee!: "To borrow from Voltaire, if Osama bin Laden didn’t exist, Republicans would have to invent him."

[Re-edited]