They Never Learn

Ha Ha! We have a whine wine critic named Matthew DeBord critiquing General Petraeus for--get this--wearing all of his ribbons and badges! As if the wear of them were optional.

There he sits in elaborate Army regalia, four stars glistening on each shoulder, nine rows of colorful ribbons on his left breast, and various other medallions, brooches and patches scattered across the rest of the available real estate on his uniform. He even wears his name tag, a lone and incongruous hunk of cheap plastic in a region of pristine gilt, just in case the politicians aren't sure who he is.

That's a lot of martial bling, especially for an officer who hadn't seen combat until five years ago. Unfortunately, brazen preening and "ribbon creep" among the Army's modern-day upper crust have trumped the time-honored military virtues of humility, duty and personal reserve.

My Lord.

The official uniform of the Army is to be worn in a very specific manner, and the brass have an obligation to live up to their billing by showing plenty of ... well, brass. On the other hand, if you're wearing four stars, you surely have some say when it comes to matters of peacockery.

(All emphasis mine.)

There are a few things that I find more barf-inducing than some little pu--...er, yappy-dog male nipping at the heels of some Real Man over things that the former couldn't begin to understand, let alone discuss--but not many.

And the twit couldn't even be bothered to find out that wear of all military uniforms is strictly prescribed--from the lowest slick-sleeve to five-star generals--because he was just itching to find a reason to sniff at someone who made him feel...microscopic. And I mean microscopic in all senses.

That said, I'll let Uncle Jimbo and Fred Schoneman take care of this pantywaist.

Fred:

Memo to anyone contemplating the purchase of one of Mr. DeBord's books on wine: They could not possibly be as breathtakingly stupid and mean as what you just read.

Jimbo:

Do the planet a favor Mr. DeBord and STFU about real men. Your attempt to portray Gen. Petraeus as a chickenhawk is the weakest of all arguments especially coming from someone who could only charitably be called even a girly man. Go back to your fern-filled loft and compare notes on the latest swill turned out by the grape-stompers. You need to leave the important business of who shall lead our country in war to those whose concept of it has progressed farther than fashion commentary about a man whose glass you are not fit to fill.

I lift my glass of Two-Buck Chuck to all Real Men out there--one especially. You know who you are.

MORE: From Drew M. at Ace.

I know to a guy like DeBord everything is about fashion and proper place settings but allow me to offer this pimple on the a** of humanity a bit of advice…when it comes to the men and women wearing their nation’s uniform, here are the only two words you really need…thank you.