I posted the following at a site run by a rather liberal black lady who is a business associate, the business of writing. I'd rather not link to the post--one about whether black women should abort their children--because it isn't necessary for my audience to comment there. [See UPDATE below.] However, I think it's something I need to post here.
I’m 48 and I’ve been pregnant twice but I have no children for two reasons: immorality and morality.
My first pregnancy occurred when I was 17 and not married. I had an abortion because it was convenient–I had no spiritual beliefs at the time. My second pregnancy occurred 13 years later when I was married. It was planned and conception happened after the nuptials were said, but I miscarried–it was an ectopic pregnancy and it happened because, before I married, I continued to fornicate and contracted chlamydia, a venereal disease which is easily cured but which scars the fallopian tubes and can prevent the fertilized egg from traveling to the uterus where it needs to implant and grow. In an ectopic pregnancy, the fertilized egg implants in the fallopian tube–a place too small for a growing human. If an ectopic pregnancy is allowed to advance past 1 month, it will kill the mother and, obviously, the baby.
I still mourn both of my children. Afterward, however, I decided to do things God’s way–the God of the Bible–even if it meant that I would never have children. (My ex asked me for a divorce right after I miscarried and I have never remarried.) There are always miracles.
My point is that if I had conducted my relationship and reproductive lives differently, I’d have children. However, I am content to carry on my life as is and to accept God’s grace.
Faith, forethought and behavior are the keys. Some of you [commenters] may not agree with my premises, but, perhaps a young lady or two reading this will take my words as a cautionary tale.
So now my readers know a little bit more about me...a little bit about why my life turned out the way it has, a little bit about how imperfect I am, and a little bit about why I think the way I do.
Suffice it to say, I haven't been perfect in this area of my life--or in any other area--since the horrid details listed came to pass. But my motive here, as I mentioned in the comment, is the hope that a young lady reading this will take it to heart and turn away from a faulty life.
BTW, aside from the interracial and racial discord aspects, Tale of the Tigers, my novel, is the story of a "bad" girl turned good by love and trust.
UPDATE: The admirable Jessica Ann Mitchell encouraged me to link to the original place at which I posted the comment, so I will. The op-ed's title: "Should Black Women Stop Getting Abortions?"
UPDATE: An already-finished follow-on to this post will be here
